Today marks the fourth anniversary since my dad passed away. It's hard to believe it's been four years since that call in the middle of the night. In those first days when we were all in shock a dear friend stopped by for support. She had lost her mom years before to cancer and the look in her eyes told me she knew what I was experiencing. The loss of a parent is the club no one wants to join. Meeting anyone who has lost their parent means skipping a whole bunch of small talk and a joining that only pain can create. What my friend said in those early days still rings true for me. In an effort to improve my mood she told me things would get better. She said the instensity of loss wouldn't lessen, but the frequency that it occurred would. Four years on, I couldn't agree more.
If allow my heart and mind to go to the place of losing Murray, it is gut wrenching. So young and so much still to give, echo strongly in my thoughts. And yet there is gratitude. Don't get me wrong when I say this, because I miss my dad every single day, but losing him was a gift. It reminded us quickly and clearly to live this life with purpose. It imparted a desire to enjoy each day and to make dreams happen. It's no accident that our family travels more since his death. Long in our dreams to see many places, both Don and I try to make this happen whenever we can.
In this day and age, there is so much YOLO (You Only Live Once) culture that I sometimes think I'm caught up in the consumerism and now of society. Are we being selfish by dreaming big? Whenever these thoughts creep up I try to think of Murray and what he would want for us. He was a big dreamer and certainly never tried to clamp down ours. What I wouldn't give for one more day, one more hour, one more minute to thank him for who he was to all of us. He would have been shocked to know just how much he meant to so many people and the influence he had on them all.
We're heading away for one more camping trip before summer's end. Just the four of us this time and I can't wait to spend a week relaxing after a tough paddle and portage into the wilderness. One last hurrah to summer before school, hockey and swimming take over. We're taking these muffins with us for breakfast one day. The chia seeds remind me a little poppy seeds in a muffin, providing a nice texturally crunch. The summer yellow plums are super juicy, so be sure they are spread out evenly.
Yellow Plum Chia Seed Muffins
adapted from Smitten Kitchen
6 Tbsp unsalted butter, browned and cooled (see below)
1 egg
1/2 cup coconut sugar
3/4 cup Greek plain yogurt
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup barley flour
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
2 Tbsp Chia seeds
1 1/2 cups chopped yellow plums
Preheat oven to 375degrees. Line 12 muffin cups with paper liners or butter.
In a stand mixer, combine egg and sugar. Add browned butter and mix. Add yogurt and fully combine, about 2 min.
In a medium bowl, combine flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt, nutmeg and chia seeds. Add to the wet mixture and stir by hand until just mixed. Fold in the plums.
Scoop about 1/4 cup into each muffin cup and bake 15-20min. Rest in the pan for about 5min before removing onto a cooling rack.
How to Brown Butter:
In a small sauce pan add butter on medium heat. Allow to melt and bubble, stirring often. Butter will turn darker hues of brown and little bits will start to settle on the bottom. Keep stirring and remove from heat when it reaches a caramel colour. It will smell like roasted hazelnuts. Don't walk away~ it goes black quick if you're not careful.
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